Favorite Practitioner Moment

"How can there be too many children? That is like saying there are too many flowers." -Mother Teresa

I couldn't agree more with Mother Teresa.  Children bring color to this world -- vibrant, vibrant, color.  Their innocence keeps us grounded, their intrigue keeps us searching, their love of life keeps us passionate; children are a gift to be received, loved, and cherished and it is a joy to hear from a client they are expecting.

Talk about a cool perk...

Anyway, there are many times when I am one of the first, if not the first, to hear the good news that a couple is pregnant, and that's where I begin with this post.  To date, this is my favorite, 'We're Pregnant!' moments crafted by a client couple of mine. 

I was asked to present to a group of parishioners at Our Lady of Loreto the Creighton Introductory slideshow.  There were quite a few couples in attendance, and as a bearer of this beautiful truth, I prayed every single one of them would choose to chart and set up an appointment with me following the session.

and most of them did. :)

Anyway, this particular couple contacted me a few weeks following the presentation and scheduled a meeting.  After said meeting, I knew a prayer for faith friends had been answered; we had A LOT in common and our friendship grew and grew over the next few meetings. It was a blessing to have been introduced to this couple, and eventually, after getting to know each other better through our frequent meetings, they shared they were ready to have a baby!  I was SO excited to hear this news because my husband and I were in the same boat.  We had decided to start trying, too.  It was great to have this in common, too.

Well, pregnancy didn't happen as easily for us, but for them, it did, and this is how I learned of that news... this is how it all went down.

I remember having suspicion that something was up when the they called to re-schedule their next meeting.  This couple NEVER did that.  Always on time, always.  But, I have a habit of jumping to conclusions when I know a couple is trying... everything they do becomes suspicious activity.  And I mean everything... 

They re-scheduled for the following week, showed up and didn't act differently; I was convinced nothing was going on and proceeded with the follow-up like nothing was going on.

You should know...The follow-up session is broken up into a few sections.  The first section assesses when and how the woman is observing (we're looking for 100% observations here people).  Then, following that series of questions, the chart is reviewed making any necessary corrections or clarifications.

She answered the first section questions like nothing was going on.

I really wanted something to be going on, folks.

Next came the section to discuss their chart; so, I asked to see it.  The husband rustled through their plastic folder, pulled their chart out, and gave it to me.  I opened it up, and there was....

SOMETHING GOING ON!

I let out an hysterical "I KNEW IT!" and proceeded to scream my congratulations hysterically.  Reminiscing, I was probably way too over-the-top with emotion... but I digress.




This was what was going on... :)

Guess what?  They were going to have a baby.  A gift, a Godball, a tiny, colorful human.. we spent the next 45 minutes or so figuring out the due date (which is a really cool moment because folks who chart, usually know without a doubt when they conceived), talking about pregnancy symptoms (cuz that's always fun, right?), and how their life was going to change with a little one on the way.  It was a great conversation and to date my favorite practitioner moment.  I guess I'll have many more of these moments to look forward to, you know, the ones that make you smile about life...

Have a great Saturday evening!

 

--- 1 ---

This is my first 7 Quick Takes post!  Excited to be trying something new in this blogging world. Happy Friday!
 

--- 2 ---

I got maybe three hours of sleep last night because of an infant who was throwing up and sneezing snot rockets all night.  I think it's allergies... can a four month old have allergies??  Anyway, so, this morning, I had a brownie for breakfast.

--- 3 ---

My Mom JUST dropped this off .... it will probably get me through the day.  I love Moms -- especially mine.  She's amazing, thoughtful, and a solid example of a mother.

Iced Soy Chai with EXTRA light ice
(so you get more drink...)

--- 4 ---

Weekend Project Alert!  I found it on Pinterest.  I used to think I was super crafty until Pinterest.  Now, I can't seem to think for myself in the way of creativity.  But, anyway, I'm going to make my own canvas prints (hopefully for $5 bucks each).  I would like the pictures to be bigger, probably 11x14, and for sure printed in black and white.  I want to buy a big, red 'W' and paint the canvas edges the same red.  We have some amazing family photos that really should be displayed.  I can't wait to modge podge with the Hubs and make our living room a bit more welcoming.

This idea is not mine...
 



--- 5 ---

NFP Awareness Week is almost over!  I can't wait to plan a little more next year and get some cool things going at my parish.  How has your week been?  Have you entertained the thought of NFP?  I hope you've taken some time to explore the topic!  :)

--- 6 ---

Last night was the first time I've been to Adoration since well before giving birth.  After meditating on the 5th Luminous mystery of the rosary ( Institution of the Eucharist) while nursing yesterday, I had this overwhelming tug in my heart to go to Adoration and spend some time in prayer.  After a particular trying night with the babe, I was feeling frazzled, disorganized, grumpy, lost, and completely empty.  I needed muh Jesus.  I went, and that hour with Him... mmmm.  My soul drank His love, peace, joy, silence, Word, to its content and I left with a sense of !  I had a thought of getting some Moms together for a once a month or whenever late night Adoration fix... would you be up for something like this?

--- 7 ---

Seven things I'm grateful for this week:

1. My amazing husband.  He is my rock.

2. A beautiful, growing spunky baby girl who has stolen my heart.

3. NFP. My ministry.

4. Oxygen.

5. The blessing that is to be a stay home mommy.

6. Adoration.

7. Blogging!

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

Guest Post: NFP is NOT for me. Or is it?

This is a heartfelt and honest testimony by Angela over at Leading Little Ones In Truth.  (This is a great blog... do check it out!) She and her husband are courageous, holy, and a solid example of how following God's plan always brings joy and satisfaction.  I love these two; they are a couple of my closest friends and such a blessing to me.  

:)

In honor of the NFP theme this week, I think Angela's post hits on all three: pro-woman, pro-man, and pro-child.  Enjoy!

***

NFP is NOT for me. Or is it?

"NFP is just not for me." I have heard this so many times over the past few years. So many women have this line drawn in the sand and when I hear someone say this, I simply feel sad. Sad that they don't see what a gift NFP can be. This often gets me thinking "How could any woman not want to use NFP?" Seriously? Then of course God quickly steps in and gently reminds me that it was not very long ago that I thought NFP was not for me.

From our very first date, I was honest with Nate that I desired to get married in the Church and raise my kids Catholic. To be perfectly honest, neither of us had a clue what this really meant or would mean for either of us! Once we were engaged, Nate so lovingly continued to support me in this decision to get married in the church. We found out the Church required us to complete some pre-marital classes including NFP also known as Natural Family Planning. No problem, we'd take the class, check it off our list, and move on to wedding planning, to house hunting, to the life *we* were planning. We took a few group NFP classes and while we checked the requirement off our list, we didn't end up using the method we initially learned. For whatever reasons, it just didn't work for us. So I continued thinking NFP was just not for me. {I don't know when I'm going to learn that it isn't about *our* plan but His!

Fast forward a few years into our marriage and we agreed it was time to start talking about adding little ones to our brood. The doctor recommended getting off birth control and just trying. If after a year we weren't successful, we could come back and discuss our other options. What? That was all. Neither of us were exactly content with this answer.

Once Nate realized little ones might be on the horizon, he started asking tons of questions about what it meant when he agreed to willingly raise any future little ones Catholic. In order to simply learn, Nate started attending RCIA to find out what the Catholic Church really taught, I attended to support him. It just so happened that during one of the question and answer sessions, we saw a presentation on the Creighton Method of NFP. Insert God's answer and part of His plan for us here.

It was not until we learned and began to use the Creighton System of NFP that *we* began to WANT to use a natural system for planning our family. It allowed us to become truly confident in understanding my fertility through charting. I emphasize we here because Nate has stuck with me through this crazy yet amazing NFP journey. Once he learned the system, he was in full support of using it, even more so than me especially until I gained confidence and trust in it. He even still takes charge of filling out my chart on most nights, I think it gives him comfort knowing where I am at in my cycle and if it is a "baby" day or not. Talk about having to communicate and make decisions together, NFP made it {and continues to make it} necessary for us to continue learning how to communicate and discuss our marriage.

Some argue, "I don't believe in what the Church teaches so why would I try to understand or even use NFP?" Why not? So many people are trying to live more natural and healthy lives. From choosing healthy or organic foods to eat and cook with, avoiding unnecessary chemicals in foods we eat or the products we use, being active and exercising, monitoring the types of containers we use to drink out of, limiting the amount of medicines we ingest, breastfeeding, cloth diapering, and I am sure this list could go on and on and on. For me, at the very basic level, NFP is one of these healthy choices. In the simplest of terms, NFP allows me to fully understand, accept, monitor, and love how my body naturally works without any unnecessary chemicals.

{Lucky for us, it is also approved by the Catholic Church because 'no drugs, devices, or surgical procedures are used to avoid pregnancy. NFP reflects the dignity of the human person within the context of marriage and family life, promotes openness to life, and recognizes the value of the child.' (Standards for Diocesan Natural Family Planning Ministry, p. 23)}

For those thinking, there are medical issues that might prevent me from using any sort of NFP, there is hope! NaPro Technology is an option for woman who use Creighton. It is basically when a NaPro trained doctor works with a women's Creighton charting efforts to help identify what is causing symptoms that a woman may be experiencing at some point during her cycle or that may be preventing her from achieving a pregnancy. NaPro works WITH a woman's system to care for the symptoms and correct the cause of any issues that she may be experiencing.

To anyone who says, "NFP is NOT for me", I would simply encourage you to first take the time to understand what it is, what it consists of, and THEN consider and decide if it would work for you. I get it. I was there not so long ago. I remember saying, "NFP is not for me". That was before I even knew what NFP was. Once I opened my heart to learn and understand instead of passing judgement, there was no question that NFP {Creighton in particular} was definitely for me. Personally, Creighton has become a reliable way for my husband and me to understand my womanhood. We have successfully been able to both avoid pregnancy as well as have successfully achieved a pregnancy, all without any guesswork about my cycle because charting is based on observable scientific facts with the option to work with a trained doctor as necessary. 

After years of thinking NFP was not for me, I have come to accept that NFP is a natural, healthy, reliable way to understand, appreciate, and love ourselves as the women God created us to be {and I personally think it helps encourage the men in our lives and in society to do the same}.

Thank you to our amazing Creighton practitioner, Joann, for being willing to be 'used' by God in order to open our hearts to NFP!

***

Angela and Nate's struggle to adopt NFP is relatable, no? Many couples write NFP off before understanding it; I hear this all the time, but I pray her story touches those couples who might be on the fence about NFP.  And to said couples, it's a risk worth taking! 

Happy Wednesday!

Guest Post: Small Witness, Great Change

Welcome to the start of NFP Week!  I'm excited to start this week off with a guest post from a talented, holy, beautiful, loyal client (whom I now call a good friend).  She has been married for nine months and she and her husband are committed to using a natural method in their marriage.  She is a great evangelizer of His truth and a steward of His love to everyone she meets.

We love her.  Truly.

Anyway, part of the theme for this week emphasizes that NFP is pro-woman.  This guest post highlights the empowerment that comes from understanding fertility.  In fact, one of the slogans for the Creighton Method is exactly that: "Unleashing the Power in a Woman's Cycle."  There's no getting around it.  If a woman uses a natural system, she will undeniably feel empowered with the knowledge gained from learning about her body and feel confident in sharing it with the world!

Knowledge is power, right? Exactly.

I just love this client's story.  I love it because for once, someone else is sharing with you how incredible NFP is.. (smile).  No, but really, I love it because this story is a testament to the boldness that blossoms from a woman who understands her body, and the seeds that can be planted from that boldness.

*** 

Small Witness, Great Change

Ever since I was in high school, I have heard of doctors recommending birth control to “solve” all sorts of problems that are not related to preventing pregnancy: acne, PMS (those horrible symptoms prior to the start of a period), ovarian cysts, to name just a few. I never really understood this, and luckily did not find myself in a position where I was personally recommended it.

My doctors always affirmed my decision to remain a virgin until marriage and I never had any other problems where birth control would have been prescribed. On the other hand, I have friends who have been on and off it: one friend to control acne, another friend, with numerous concussions, was given birth control to control migraines caused by her concussion, and many began birth control because they had trouble with cramps and other PMS symptoms. I continue to wonder why birth control is the “answer” for all these problems....

There has to be another way to control these issues, right?

I never believed that taking “medicine," for which the main purpose is to prevent pregnancy, was a good idea, and moreover, that type of "medicine" is certainly not a solution for all the other problems I listed.
I especially could not understand how it was the answer to the concussion migraines... seriously, it left me wondering: what if a guy was in the same situation as my friend; would his doctor prescribe him birth control? I doubt it... but I digress..
 
As I became more involved with my Catholic faith in college, I was presented with some of the major health conditions birth control can cause. I also came to realize that it does not actually fix any of the other problems that it is prescribed for; it just masks the symptoms. Well, that does not seem to make much sense to me. Why are we masking symptoms? I just could not believe that in the modern world we live in, there was no other answer.

Well, I found an answer as my husband and I began our marriage prep requirements for Natural Family Planning. After all I knew about birth control, there was no way I was taking it myself, not to mention the beauty behind the Catholic Church’s reasons for natural methods are so holistic and beautiful. Going into our first meeting with Joann, we had really no idea what to expect, beyond learning about how to read the signs of my body and that we would be abstaining from sex while I was fertile.

Well, let me tell you, I was BLOWN AWAY! Why hadn’t someone taught me about this sooner, like maybe high school? I recommend to all women (single, dating, married, etc.) that they learn more about their bodies, their natural fertility signs and gynecological health. Not to mention, Creighton has solutions, actual solutions, to many of the problems that I mentioned above. Joann has touched on this in her previous posts.

Anyway, about three months into charting, I had a physical with a Physician’s Assistant. This one was different, though, because in six months I was getting married and would be sexually active.

“Would you like me to prescribe you birth control?” asked the PA.

“No,” I explained, “we have decided to use a natural method.”

“Oh, okay, well just know that when you actually get married, the natural methods can be very inconvenient, so if you and your husband change your mind, just give us a call and we can write you a prescription.”

I left it at that. I knew things would not change once we got married, but I really did not know how to tell her that. One year after that doctor's visit, and after nine months using the Creighton System in my marriage, it was time for another physical. I arrived at the appointment and had three people in the exam room with me. My doctor, a resident, and a student who was shadowing the doc that day.

Before the physical began, the resident mentioned she was going through marriage preparation classes at St Francis Cabrini Catholic Parish.

As the exam progressed, my doctor asked, “Are you on any medications?”

“Nope, none.”

“Not even birth control?” asked the resident.

“No, my husband and I are using a natural method,” I explained (excited, that this time I had experience to back up our decision to use a natural method in our marriage).

“Really?” my doctor asked, “so you observe signs…?”

“Yep, I check every time I go to the bathroom, and we are able to determine whether or not I am fertile and from there abstain as necessary” I replied (wrongly assuming he knew what I meant by check… oops).

“Do you check your temperature, also,” asked the resident.

“No, we are using the Creighton method, which only requires I check my mucus”

“Oh, ok, we are learning about the Couple to Couple method right now in marriage prep,” explained the resident.

“Wait, what do you check, do you have some sort of kit you use to determine the fertility?” asked my doctor.

“No, there is no kit. Every time I go to the bathroom I wipe before and after to see if there mucus present and if there is I finger test it to see how stretchy it is; from there we know if we are fertile.”

“Interesting. I have never actually met someone using a method like this. It was mentioned in our textbooks, but that was always it. So is your cycle pretty regular then?” asked my doctor.

“Mine is, well most of the time. Last month was a bit all over the place with 12 fertile days in a row… that is what I get for being stressed, though.”

The conversation fizzled out at that point. It is still so strange to me that the medical world does not know more about practices like this and that I was teaching my doctor about it. I pray that he will be able to open his mind to it and maybe even offer it as an option to patients. I also pray that the resident can realize that it really does work and choose it as the option for her upcoming marriage. It has been such a blessing in ours.

This doctor’s appointment was definitely a reminder that we are called to be witnesses everywhere, even if it means explaining something to our doctors that we think they should be explaining to us.

Through small witnesses, we are able to make great change over time.

***

National NFP Awareness Week -- STARTS TOMORROW!

National NFP Awareness Week - STARTS TOMORROW!!!!!

 

Get Excited!

 

July 21 - July 28

 

The 2013 theme is:

 "Pro-woman, Pro-man, Pro-child"

"Celebrate and reverence God's vision of human sexuality."

Discover Natural Family Planning

 



 

Copyright of USCCB.org

Prayer and Teaching: An "Ah-Ha" Moment

I recently had a client couple cancel their follow-up meeting because her parents were in a serious car accident.  They had just celebrated her wedding and were on their way home from Colorado.  I received the text and my heart dropped; I immediately prayed for them and her parents who are currently in two different hospitals in Denver. 

Ah ha!  That's what it's all about, isn't it God? 
 

You see, I realized in that moment that my ministry goes far beyond teaching mucus, scheduling follow- ups, correcting stamp placement or explaining double peaks and early ovulations.  God has called me to a much greater purpose in the midst of all of that.  Every client He decides to send my way is a client He has asked me to teach AND pray for or with.

Intimate., isn't it?

I am sure you would agree that praying for or with another person is the most intimate thing you can do because prayer invites another into pain, joy, happiness, sickness, spiritual battles, etc.  And in doing so, we become vulnerable. 

Yikes.

That's why I want to teach more.... because in praying for my clients, I am actively participating in something much greater than myself.  I know I can't make an engaged couple remain chaste before marriage or make a husband understand that his apathy toward using a natural system is hurting his wife's heart.  I can't console or heal a couple who just found out they lost their first baby because of a miscarriage... or make a couple pregnant after struggling for years with infertility, but I believe in a God Who can.

"Beloved, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God; and we receive from him whatever we ask, because we keep his commandments and do what pleases him. And this is his commandment, that we should believe in the name of his Son Jesus Christ, and love one another, just as he has commanded us. All who keep his commandments abide in him, and he in them. And by this we know that he abides in us, by the Spirit which he has given us." (1 John 3:21-24 RSV)

Teaching has been merely the gateway to understanding the depth of God's plan for me which is to be a steward of His love.  I am blessed to pray for the people who come into my life through this ministry and the joy and satisfaction that has penetrated my heart through praying for them, is undeniably addicting.

I'm addicted to teaching because it has allowed me to become a better servant of His love through prayer and that is exactly who God has called me to be in His Body.

Beautiful.

***Also, please pray for my client's parents.  I know they would appreciate the prayers.

Did you say ABSTINENCE? A challenge to love differently.

Using a natural system to avoid a pregnancy means that at some point during a woman's cycle, she will be fertile, and the couple will have a period of abstinence.  Usually this is only eight days but every woman's cycle is different.

Abstinence??? FOR 8 DAYS!!!!!!????  Um....

Breathe.  It's okay.  Abstinence is actually a beautiful thing. Let me explain. 

Would you believe me if I said that periods of abstinence in a marriage can strengthen it and make it better?

Would you believe me if I said that contrary to what mainstream media plasters all over the television and internet, we were created to love with our brains and not our genitals?

Yes, that's right. Love with our brains, folks. 

So why then is abstinence a beautiful thing?  Because it allows a couple to love differently outside of the marital act.  It teaches couples to love with their brains.. like a love boot camp, if you will.

Before learning Creighton, I had no idea how to love my husband.  Nobody had given me a "How to Love Your Husband for Dummies" book or anything like it.  Matter of fact, I thought I had the love thing all figured out -- imagine that.

I quickly learned that love takes time, patience, work.... Creighton gave me a place to start and I offer that to you this morning. A place to start loving your spouse better. 

Have you recently loved your spouse.......

Spiritually? This can include praying with your spouse or maybe praying for him/her.  Some ideas: try to go to daily mass twice a month together, commit to praying a novena (nine day prayer for a specific intention), pick a religious text to read together, meditate on one Scripture verse together before bed, bless your home together, give glory to God for the blessings in your life, invite God into your marriage and family vocally together... I love this area of love!  Ask God to help love each other better spiritually... He's always knows what is needed.

Physically? Hold hands during a movie.  Hug and kiss more frequently throughout the day. Cuddle.  Play footsie under the table at the in-laws.  Dance (dancing in the kitchen is MUH thing).  Affection is the key here.  It's important to practice affirming touch.

Intellectually? Being a stay home Mom I sometimes have the hardest time with this category because I talk to an infant all day, we don't have television, and I sometimes never get the chance to check the news to see what's going on in the world... I have to challenge myself to read articles or blogs so that I can bring something to a conversation other than "your daughter had five messy diapers today....".  It's important to bring something to the table -- even if you know it will spark a debate. :)

Creatively? I remember when my husband and I were engaged and just learning about The Five Love Languages; I figured out that my love language was gift giving and my husband's was not.  But he wanted to step out of his comfort zone and love me creatively with a gift.  SOOO, he gave me a dozen Gerbera daisies stuck in a four-pack of Red Bulls (at the time I was addicted to those things... gross) and I love those BIG daisies.  It was perfect!  Loving creatively breeds delightful memories, and we all want more of those, so go crazy with this one! 

We just recently celebrated our four-year anniversary and while I was away picking up Cheesecake Factory curbside to-go, he was at home decorating our house to look like our wedding reception.  He found the glasses we used with our first toast, he had a slideshow playing in the background, and he even picked up our remaining centerpieces from my Mom's and decorated the dining room table with them.  Then, after enjoying our dinner, he proceeded to have me sit on the sofa to watch our wedding ceremony and renew our vows.... sheesh, that man... creative.  He's come a long way from daisies and red bulls, eh?

Ok, enough 'I have the best husband in the world' mush... 

Emotionally? This area has been so important in our marriage.  I think the key here is attentiveness.  Are you aware of your spouse's emotional state?  Sometimes it takes a little more effort to 'see' what's going on with him/her.

Truthfully, abstinence is a beautiful gift in marriage, and I am thankful for it because every cycle I can consciously evaluate areas of my relationship I think I would otherwise glance over.  It's one thing to just not make love, and it's another to choose as a couple the same thing. Abstinence is a choice that the couple makes together and that's the difference. In choosing to abstain, the couple practices self control in their sexual relationship and agrees to love each other differently.  

Is it easy? Nope. 

Is it worth it? Absolutely.

Marriage... This Is What I Know.

A friend recently asked me for marriage advice.  As I began to write down my thoughts, I realized I wasn't doing a very good job at following the advice I was giving her.  It was a beautiful reality check.  It gave me a moment to reflect on my marriage and challenge myself to love him better.

I need to love him better.

I've been married for four years and this is what I know... Here was my advice to her.  

Pray. My husband and I go to confession every two weeks with each other. After confession we kneel and ask each other for forgiveness for those times we've failed to love each other better. It keeps us from divorce. Pray a daily rosary for your marriage and for peace to remain in it. Mother Mary is a powerful intercessor. Hold each other accountable for daily personal prayer and ask each other frequently what the other needs prayers for. Read scripture, share scripture, and study it together.  Nothing has been more rewarding and intimate than allowing God to transform our hearts through His Word.

Fun. Play battleship! Eat ice cream. Laugh at when you shrink clothes in the dryer... Or throw a nipple brush into a micro steam bag that ends up destroying two bottles... 

Call each other out. Gently of course, but keep each other in check and communicate when something upsets you or hurts you. 

Always be the first to say you're sorry. In every fight, you always have something to apologize for whether it be a raised voice or because you cut off your spouse mid-sentence to prove your point. Apologize and own those mistakes.

Love him in his love language. It's easy to forget this because it's easier to love in your own language. Step out of your comfort zone and don't be afraid to ask him how his love tank is doing. Is it full? How can you love him better? Have you heard of The Five Love Languages? Check it out here. You can check out The Five Apology Languages, too.

Play. Chase him around the house with a glass of water... or squirt gun. You choose.

Make love. Truly. Making love is a sacred moment of renewing your wedding vows and will bring you closer to your spouse.  Have you tried saying a prayer before making love and inviting God into your bedroom?  The fruits of this are beautiful. Try it. 

Talk about the little things.  What did you have for breakfast that day? How was traffic? Nothing is too minor to share with him.  Tell him you haven't shaved in a week... The more you discuss the everyday things, the easier it is to tackle the big things.

Tithe. God will take care of you. Be frugal. Be smart. It's fruitless to argue about money. When you don't have any, give more. When you have a lot, give more. Remember money is not yours and if God's in control of your finances, you will always have what you need and more. 

Agree to keep fighting and arguing behind close doors.  Fighting is personal and should remain between you and your spouse.  Also, gossiping and speaking poorly about your spouse to someone else is hurtful especially when you do it out of anger.  Always remain on the same team in front of family.. You can disagree later. 

Voice expectations.  Don't try to interpret his manual. It's much easier to let him explain it to you.  Same for your manual.  Explain it to him.  

Have a baby! The best gift to give a spouse is the gift of fatherhood or motherhood.. It's beautiful.

Ask for clarification before reacting. 99% of the time, that look or comment he gave you didn't mean what you thought it did.  Give him a chance to clarify and don't assume. This will save you from arguing majority of the time.

Maintain a Brotherhood and Sisterhood because these are an essential part of a well-balanced marriage.  Continue to be fed from women in your life. That margarita with the ladies will make you a better wife. Truly. He needs to shoot something and drink a beer and laugh at a fart with the guys. Know that this is important, and push him to hang out with his friends every now and then.

Lay on the bed in silence and look at each other. Silence is rewarding and so is just being. I have the hardest time with this. Hugging your husband for a few seconds is more important than checking on the chicken in the oven... Sometimes. ;)

Sacrifice goes a long way.  It is doable to give up your iced chai to buy him toothpicks that he needs to have after every meal... Even though you can't stand them. You can sacrifice blog time to engage in conversation with your spouse because he is more important than writing. Always. 

Don't compare notes. It doesn't matter if you do the dishes five times in a week and the laundry and he only made the bed once. Because the next week, you may only get to the bathroom and he ends up vacuuming, doing the laundry, and cleaning the entire kitchen. Service without expectation is best.

Most importantly, use NFP.  I've shared already some of the ways using a natural system has strengthened my marriage and allowed us to get through some tough times. It's a beautiful gift to give your spouse.  Try it. (I happen to be an NFP teacher if you want more info).

Marriage is a lot of work, but very rewarding. Have a glass of wine with your spouse tonight and celebrate your love!

What about you? Have anything I should add to this list?